AMORE.

AMORE 


Young love -
petal pink lips in a crescent moon grin.
A ray of sweet sunshine swirling through the blinds.
Rain drops on a summer afternoon,

cool against blazing amber skin. 

A sly smile in a flooded room. 

Coins tossed into a fountain. 

A hand to hold

and someone to fight with. 

amore.

   love.

    amour.

     

Commitment -

Snuggling in a blanket while awaiting snowfall.

Coffee at a sip-able temperature.

A worn in set of sheets.

Two bookends that hold life together.

Yet an unrequited love -

an envelope wandering in the mail
tossed upon a sea of letters.
A locked door
             without a key.


Ti amo.
  i love you.
      Je t'aime.


Undiscovered love -
a package waiting to be opened.
driving with the windows down
to a little known destination.


Love - one of life's purest mysteries.


Love.

dear diary.

Once upon a time, years ago, Laura liked to write in a journal every night. She would write down all her silly thoughts right before bed and then tuck her journal safely under her bedside table. Unfortunately, as days went by, she then became too busy and her poor little journals gathered dust and sat around with hundreds of empty pages waiting to be written in. 

I thought it would be kinda funny to let ya'll in on a few of my journal entires from my middle school and early high school years. The stuff thats in purple is comments from my current self!

8-24-2004

Dear Journal,

I just got you for my 13th birthday. I had an awesome birthday, so many people said Happy Birthday to me.(since that's what matters haha) I got some really cute stuff, a black purse, two necklaces, this journal, money and a old jewelry box to keep stuff in. I still haven't gotten anything from Granny and Grandaddy or my friends!!!!! (wow I sound like a snob) My birthday party is on Friday night. Hopefully it won't be as dramatic as last year. (Lindy and I had gotten in trouble the year before for sending guys I.M. messages on the computer in front of our friends..oops!) We're making candies that are going to be really cute. 12 was an awesome year for me. I came closer to God and made a lot of great friends. Julie is my best friend not including Lindy. We can talk about anything together. We always talk on the phone about EVERYTHING. She is so awesome, I don't know what I'd do w/out her! (Julie Epstein was my best friend, she goes to USC now) Well my hand is starting to hurt and I can't concentrate with Dad and Lindy talking about Matt. (Matt was Lindy's middle school BF hahah)

Goodnight - Laura

This post was at the beginning of I think 8th grade maybe? Middle School was one of my favorite times in my life. I had a group of friends that I loved and we hung out 24/7...literally. Good times.

11-11-2004

Dear Journal,

Hey! (journal's can respond..if you didn't know haha) I haven't written to you in a while, more like forever! This year has been so busy so far. Well, it's already November 11th and the air already has the christmas feel to it. (a little early, Laura) Only umm lets see...43 days til christmas! Wow! Awesome, I'm so excited this christmas is gonna rock! (I speak with such eloquence) I don't really mind about the cut back on money, Santa's fun but seriously church, music family and friends are the best.  GUESS WHAT?!?! I got a cell phone on saturday and I might get braces on Tuesday! How exciting!(the fact that I was excited about braces is really ironic haha) So many events these days. We didn't have school today because it's veterans day we do tom. It's friday though, yippie! I love school this year. I'm with Julie and Ben and Ryan. (woo!) I feel really bad for Lindy though, she has to deal with Mrs. Perry ugh! (AWFUL TEACHER) How Terrible! If I was that mean & bad I'd smack her haha no I wouldn't even do that if i was "mean". ( I probably really would've done that..I was fiesty) Its a funny thought though. Well I'll get back to you tomorrow maybe! Nice writing to you again. 

- Laura (10:16)(staying up late...watch out!!!)

I crack myself up. Seriously. 

This next post is actually kinda sad. After middle school I went to Providence and I HATED IT. Seriously, hated was an understatement. I would come home from school and cry and I was miserable everyday. My middle school has been divided into two different high schools so the group of friends from middle school was split up. I was devastated. I think I was seriously depressed. But I do admit, I was pretty emo and "punk". Cool, I know.

2-1-2006

Dear Journal, 

Bleh. Bleh. Bleh.

Bleah.

Sometimes I feel like a robot

in a human disguise. 

Wake up, school, home, bed,

wake up school, home bed.

Over and over, again and again.

I express no emotions like I used to. I'm not as nice as I used to be.

A dead soul in an alive body. (a smidge dramatic.) Nothing makes me happy anymore. I used to laugh so much that one time I got called into the librarians office for laughing to much. Now I laugh but it's pretty much hollow.

Smile.

- Laura (wow this is really emo and depressing, awesome.)

It makes me kinda sad that I felt like this, but luckily it went away. I had been considering changing schools because my mom could see how upset I was. Glad it was just a phase!

 the 9th grade me

Well that's a little peak into who I was "back in the day". Everything that happened in my life has helped make me who I am, the good and the bad! Thats me, kids.

 me now! much better!

fretfully yours!

So today I just wanted to give a little shout out to my friend Chloe! Chloe is a good friend of mine at App! I love to get coffee with her because of her coffee expertise and just chat for hours and hours!

Chloe is an extremely talented jewelry designer so I wanted to share the wealth and give ya'll the link to her jewelry website here!

Each piece of jewelry is handmade by her and they are all unique! Her style is so cute and funky and I know you'll love it! Check it out if you get a free second!

Fretfully yours, Laura

daydreamin' for a dollar #1

So I've decided to start doing a post every once in a while called "daydreamin' for a dollar". They're going to be posts about things like fashion, decorations, furniture, jewelry and stuff that I'm interested in at the time but that I unfortunately can't afford! I'm definitely dreaming for a dollar right now because I'm broke as a joke; so I might as well make the best of it and daydream right? Hope you like it!


1. I have been wanting a blazer for so long. They're so effortlessly chic and fashionable. I love how you can pair them with anything and mix feminine with masculine. They're really expensive but hopefully I'll find a cheap one soon or raise enough to buy one that will last me a while!

2. I think these mirrors are adorable (especially for my apartment next year!)

3. I'm in love with these metallic gold flats. Flats are so cute and girly and I love how these have a little edge with the gold studs down the heel. SO CUTE.

4. Next year I get to have my own room and I think this chair would be perfect for my desk and really comfortable...I wish!

5. So colorful. So fun. LOVE.

6. I love this outfit! I love how short it is cause my short legs need a short dress! The belt makes your waste look really tiny too <3

I'm just daydreamin' for a dollar these days.

i love poetry.

Last night Lindy and I were laying on our own separate little air mattresses in florida with our backs to each other and I got the inspiration for this poem so on the extremely long 10 hour drive home today I jotted it down in the car... So there ya go

Unspoken Affair


Do we sleep in opposing directions
due to comfort,
or to avoid the suspicious stares bound to come
from our heavy lidded eyes?

Our bodies are magnets.
They push against the thick waves of tension
that crash in between us and
send us darkly into contrasting directions.

If only we could erase it all; you'd flip over
and draw me in with unparalleled force.

I can hear your heart's rapid pulse
as your mind ebbs and flows with thoughts that are
sure to throw my senses into
an area flagged by neon caution tape.

Your breathing is slow and practiced;
forcefully rhythmic.
Do you really believe me to be that naive?
Naive of us?

I know you.
Your heartaches, your secrets, your laugh.

Our backs are only inches apart.
Though it feels like
miles and
miles.

Do we sleep in opposing directions due to comfort?
Or because we're both too scared to admit
the lie we both know to be true?

Miles
and miles.

SAN DIEGO - DAY 6,7,8

Sorry it took me so long to update these last final days of San Diego...I've been SUPER busy. So I've decided to just share some of my best pictures!

Overall, this trip turned out to be more amazing than I could have ever imagined. The people there were the most genuine guys and girls I have ever met and I got extremely close with them. (I even ended up crying when I left) I would have never thought that I could become so close with complete strangers in a matter of 9 days, but it happened. We got to get down to our core and share what really matters with each other but we also got to have SO - MUCH - FUN. I haven't laughed that much in a long, long time! That trip also really molded my relationship with God. I love being on a God high, but I hate falling off of it so hopefully, this trip will keep me in the word and living a spirit-filled life. Nothing will come close to this trip, it was truly amazing and unforgettable!

So since it's not as fresh in my mind I've decided to just share some pictures!

Here is a delish coffee place on the UCSD campus called "Art of Espresso" - YUM!

This is a sidewalk that leads up to the library - It is a serpent and supposed to represent satan...it's acutally really creepy but I mean it is pretty cool..in a really satanic, scary way haha. It winds around a bunch of trees that are supposed to represent the garden of eden.

This is a book that stands beside the serpent path with a quote from paradise lost
The Library is supposed to be in the shape of a tree like the tree of life from the garden of eden and you take the snake path to get there.
Obviously the UCSD campus was very..."non-godly". Here is a building that has lights spelling out the 7 deadly sins that flash at night and then also flash the acronym of each word. CRAZY!
Me and the amazing ashley drinking "jelly tea"? You choose a flavor of tea and then get little flavored jellies in the bottom of it that shoot up through the straw when you sip it. It's really weird but I actually really liked it! Yay for trying new things!
On Friday we went shopping in the gas-lamp district in downtown San Diego. It was really cute and old fashioned!
Here is a picture from a day of beach evangelism. There were two different sides of the beach; one for surfing and one for swimming! That just seems so typical californian to me haha!

Lookin' rad - Sthefany and Megan! LOVE THEM!

Doing some beach evangelism by playing tug of war! A bunch of people actually came and played with us! It was a great way to witness to people!
We got to go to a Padres game! It was so much fun! I love baseball games - they're so summery and exciting! They played the mariners and they won! WOO GO TEAM!
Pretty stadium right in the middle of the city
Me and my buddy Nichole eating some yummy hot dogs and garlic fries - can't beat game food!
The view from my hotel...amazing.
Cuties with their napkins on the heads at a chinese restaurant haha

So that's my trip!

AMAZING. LIFE-CHANGING. REMARKABLE. INSANE. HOLY. FUN. EVERYTHING POSITIVE.

I miss everyone already!

SAN DIEGO - DAY 3,4,5

Well San Diego can be described in one word - amazing!

I have been having the most fun time EVER. I never thought that I would already feel so close with the people that are on this trip and I would have never imagined that this trip would be so life changing.

I have been really busy though so I'm going to try and quickly recap the past few days! Each day kind of has a similar schedule; wake up - big group meeting - evangelism/lunch/bible study - free time/dinner - big group time...so I'll just give you the details!

Monday (DAY 3)

So Monday morning we had our big group meeting and learned about an evangelism tool called the "soularium". The soularium is a picture survey that people can take that kind of leads them to think spiritually. It asks questions like "what 3 pictures would you choose to describe your life right now? and what picture represents God for you? and that kind of thing. The pictures are random; nature, buildings, animals, people etc. The cool thing about the soularium is that its a fun way to evangelize - you don't force your ideas on anyone and they don't really realize that they're doing something that may potentially turn into a God talk.

That day in our small group we talked about being bold in sharing your faith. It's amazing to see how the Holy Spirit gives you the ability to be eloquent when speaking and confident in your words.

That afternoon we split up into groups and got to do a scavenger hunt along the beach and the boardwalk. It was so much fun! We had to do things like - take a jumping picture, sing a beach boys song with a stranger, have one of us run into the ocean fully clothed (ME! FREEZING! BURRR!), ask someone for their sock, bury a stranger in the sand and build a pyramid with your whole group and a stranger...it was SO FUN and gave us a chance to bond and joke around together.

That night after Dinner we went to La Jolla beach and got to just enjoy the view and appreciate each other and God's company. I had never been to the Pacific before and the view was truly breathtaking; God is so creative and majestic. When we were there it was nice to talk to some of the people I hadn't really talked to yet. Everyone is so friendly and christ-centered; christian fellowship is truly irreplaceable. While at the beach we met a few Gypsy men and it was really interesting to talk to them and hear about their culture and lifestyle. Gypsies have a negative connotation, but these men were really nice. I love meeting new people! After La Jolla we went to Mt. Soledad. Mt. Soledad is a small mountain/hill that looks over the San Diego skyline. We had prayer time as we took in the view of San Diego at night and we got to pray as a group for the city and enjoy God's beauty. Monday was one of the first days that we all bonded as a whole. LOVE IT.

roomies - me, lindsey, kali, sarah, megan.

HELP!
GOD's awe-inspiring, beautiful creation.

Tuesday (DAY 4)

Tuesday morning we started our big group meeting learning about the "Spirit filled Life". We talked about being satisfied in your walk with God and stepping out in faith. We also talked about how evangelism isn't a human effort; it's a spirit led effort and how to let the spirit lead you in your walk with God.

After that we headed to UCSD (university california san diego) and SDSU (san diego state university) to evangelize on campus. I had never really done that before. Although I've been a christian for the majority of my life, I haven't ever really put myself out there to spread the gospel to strangers or anything. It was completely out of my comfort zone.

I was paired with Ashley from my small group and we would just go up to random students (they're on a quarterly schedule so their still in class) and either do the soularium survey or the Quest survey. The quest survey is pretty much the soularium survey without the use of pictures and it takes less time. It was amazing to see the different lifestyles and religious backgrounds that the students had. You could truly see and feel God working through us on the campus.

That afternoon we had small group and then for dinner our leader Angela made us all some delicious chicken burritos! After dinner and small group time we had "project at the park" time. It was pretty much just all of us going to the park together and hanging out. It has definitely been my FAVORITE NIGHT so far! I got to play ultimate frisbee for the first time and I had so much fun! After that we did a few icebreakers and then we got to go to a local boardwalk/amusement park and hang out. I hadn't been on a roller-coaster in soooo long and it was awesome to hang out with everyone and just have fun together. It was also nice to get a chance to bond with the guys on the trip since it's mostly just girl time. (This trip gives me hope that there may actually be a christian guy out there haha!) We also came back and had a "dance party" and watched youtube videos. It was so much fun! I felt like we were a huge group of best friends that had known each other forever. FUN STUFF!

My frisbee team was "God's wrath" we won (of course), it's god's wrath... it always wins haha

Wednesday (DAY 5)

Wednesday was pretty focused on evangelism. We woke up Wednesday morning and had our Bible study early so that we could have the afternoon for witnessing on the beach. I'm kind of in shock how much I love my small group. I'm gonna miss them so much when this trip is over! They're so cute, funny, easy to talk to and strong believers - which is amazing.

After small group we had a speaker, Scott Wallen, come talk to everyone for about 2 hours. He had some truly inspirational and informative things to say. Going to school at App I'm faced with a lot of scientific based beliefs, atheism, and nonbelievers. I knew that God placed him on this trip to help me! He went to Grad school for over 13 years and had degrees in things like psychology, political science (separation of church in state) christian and religious studies...pretty much anything you could imagine that would help with evangelism! He was gifted, lets just say that! He talked about how our culture today impacts evangelism, how naturalism and postmodernism dominate our classrooms, how tolerance is the ultimate virtue, how to use the socratic method of evangelism, how to involve our mind in religion and many many other topics. I was so intrigued. He gave us a lot of tools that I can definitely take back to my campus so I'm pumped to start spreading the love of Christ!

After his talk, we got to actually use what we had learned. We had about 2 hours to walk around the beach and witness to people using the soularium and quest surveys again. Kali, from my small group, actually got to pray with someone to accept Christ. YAY! With each day that I evangelize to someone, it's becoming easier and easier. I can't wait until it's like a second nature to me and the good thing is that the joy of spreading my faith with never fade!

For dinner we went and got sushi (first time - delicious!) and then after that we had women's night which was so much fun. Being in small groups unfortunately kind of divides up the girls so it was nice to talk to everyone at once. When we first got there we got to take a quiz about ourself. It was REALLY COOL and I would definitely recommend it. It had a list of the most common God related struggles women face like gossip, lust, impurity, self image, control, achievement idolatry, timidity, lying and that kind of thing. Each girl had to circle all of the ones that applied to them and then we shuffled them up and passed them back out. After they were passed back out Amy, our leader, read off each one and if it was circled on the new quiz you had gotten then you had to raise your hand. It was really comforting and humbling to see that no matter what sin it was, someone else had dealt with it too. I loved that activity. We also talked a lot about boundaries in all types of relationships and finding your identity in Christ and not earthly things.

Small group: Me, Kali, Nichole, Angela, Ashley

SUSHI! crunchy roll and dynamite roll! YUM!

I can't even put into words how miraculous, humbling and spiritually fulfilling this trip has been...and THERE'S MORE TO COME!!!!!

SAN DIEGO - DAY 2

Today was our first real day of the trip after everyone had gotten all settled in. This morning we woke up around 8 and had our first meeting at 9. ( I actually got up at like 6:45 so like 9:45 my time, ah!!! - I feel back asleep thankfully) When we got to our meeting we sang some worship songs together and then we started to discuss evangelism. For the trip we're using a booklet called KGP or "knowing God personally" to witness to others. Doug, our leader, went through the booklet and discussed how to bring up spirituality in an everyday conversation and how to lead the conversation towards the subject of God. I think this booklet is going to be so helpful and I am so excited to actually go out one day this week and start putting it into action!

After we finished the meeting we headed over to a church in the area called Encanto Southern Baptist Church. This church has been around for about 50 years and they are about to open a new location in the more poverty stricken area of San Diego. When we got to the church we originally thought we were going to be walking around doing surveys but then the Pastor told us that we were going to be doing a prayer walk. I had done a prayer walk once or twice before so I had an idea of what to do. We split up into groups and each took a street and brought a long a pad of paper to write down what we thought God wanted to see in that area. We also tried to ask the few people that we saw on the street what they wanted from a church. We saw a lot of children and tons of spanish speaking people. They really wanted a children's ministry and a place where they can come and not feel uncomfortable about their current financial situations. When we were done with the prayer walk we went a little further down the road and handed out blankets to the homeless. There were so many people laying on the streets that were in need of God's love. Although most of them weren't open to hearing about the love of Christ, we could at least provide them with a warm blanket to sleep on. Hopefully the blanket will plant a seed in their hearts and lead them towards God. This church is really doing amazing things in the area and they're going to stay in touch with us so I'm excited to see what God has in store for the new branch of the church and the area surrounding it. After our prayer walk and handing out the blankets, we went back to the church and ate lunch with some of the congregation and shared what we had learned on the prayer walk. They were so sweet and hospitable towards us and are doing truly great things in their community.

When I got back the room I was exhausted so I took like a two hour nap; it was fantastic. When I woke up we went to get dinner together at In-N-Out. Apparently In-N-Out is like a California must have and it was delicious! I just got fries and a chocolate shake since I had a hamburger for lunch, but now I can officially say I've been there! Yay haha! When we got back from dinner we got to meet with our small groups for the first time and do something called "soul to soul".

My small group is led by Angela and then Nichole, Kali and Ashley are in the group with me. We went to the CUTEST coffee shop together called Cafe 976. ( I heart coffee shops with all my being). I got the "976" which is Espresso, white mocha, hazelnut and milk and it was sooo good! Coffee makes me smile. After we got our drinks we sat down and had time sharing about ourselves and our walk with God and just what makes us who we are today. I love christian fellowship and getting to know someone for who they really are. It's so nice to come here with no judgements of anyone and no expectations and to bond on a level where you can share yourself without worry. I've loved getting to know them and can't wait to get closer. The Cafe closed earlier since it was a Sunday so we decided to snuggle up with blankets in our car and backup facing the beach. We opened the trunk and could see the fireworks from Sea World and continued to share our "soul to soul".

Sarah and Leah on the prayer walk

First time at In-N-Out!!! wooooooo!
Cafe 976!!!!! LOVED IT!!!!!
Kali and I at Cafe 976!
My leader Angela!
Kali and Nichole in the car while doing Soul to Soul by the beach; so fun!

I can tell that God is truly working in each and everyone of us and that we are going to get really close. I am so excited for what's to come and I know this week is going to be amazing!

SAN DIEGO - DAY 1

Well, I finally made it to CALIFORNIA!

Today has been an extremely long day! I was excited to go on the trip so I didn't sleep very well and only got 4 or 5 hours of sleep. AH! I woke up at 5:30 to get ready to leave but when I got to the airport the security line was miles long so it put me a little behind. I said goodbye to my family, rushed through security and then made it to gate B. I went and grabbed Starbucks since I hadn't eaten dinner and (praise the lord) a pilot let me jump him in line when he overhead me telling my Mom and Dad how I was running late! So nice! I met Leah at the our gate and she was on the flight with me so we got to meet each other before we boarded which was nice! She's going to be a senior at liberty and she's really sweet!

The flight was long and bumpy but I had good neighbors! (like a 50ish jewish married couple haha) I watched you've got mail on my computer, re-read eclipse, played games on my iTouch and took a nap! It was long but I was entertained haha! When we started getting closer to the ground I could see California out my window and it was so cool; much more mountainy and hilly than I thought!

Leah and I got picked up by one of the leaders and headed over to our hotel. We're staying at the Bahia Resort (pronounced Ba-he-uh apparently) so we got settled in and then two of the younger leaders who were on the trip last year took us walking around on the boardwalk. We grabbed lunch at a little Greek place called KoJacks and then went back to the room. We hung out for like 45 minutes because Leah and I were both exhausted and then we decided to venture down to the beach (in our one pieces - sexay). You always here the stereotype about surfers in California and its completely true! There was even a sign on the beach that said surfers this way swimming that way for where you were supposed to sit! Crazy! The houses along the beach were also very cool and very " cali". LOVE IT! We hung out there for a while but the water was FREEZING! Ice cube, seriously. And since the sun wasn't out we got a little chilly so we got smoothies and went back to the hotel.

When we got back we met a bunch of the other girls! They are all so cute and sweet and I am so excited to get to know them better! I love christian fellowship, it makes it so much easier when you have a common beliefs to fall back on. After introducing ourselves we went grocery shopping for the week so we could save a little money on our lunches. By that time it was close to dinner so we went to the leaders room to have a meeting and meet everyone on the trip! There are about 13 girls and 6 guys! (Lucky them; two to one ratio) We played picture telephone and said where we're from and our major and all that good stuff. There are more than 4 people here that are twins, its crazy! They all seem like so much fun and everyone gets along well so far and nothing about meeting everyone has been uncomfortable, which is amazing.

After dinner and the low down on our schedule we went to a DELICIOUS place called yogurtland! They have a bunch of different fat free frozen yogurt flavors and toppings like mango, kiwi, raspberries, captain crunch and even cheesecake bites! It was SO good. Unfortunately I was quite tired so I wasn't very talkative but it was fun to all just hang out.

California is already amazing and I can't wait to tell you more!

its time!

Well everyone, the time has finally arrived for me to fly off to San Diego! I only have one more day and then I'm off to experience something completely out of my comfort zone; I'm so pumped!

I leave way too early Saturday morning; my plane boards at 7:55 am and I arrive in San Diego at 9:50 am (even though its a 4 hour and 55 minute flight because of the time change) Someone will be picking me up from the airport that is a part of the CRU project and luckily a girl named Leah, who is also going on the trip, is on my same flight. I've never flown alone before so I'm glad that she'll be there with me when we get off the flight and land in sunny California!

Anyways, I'm bringing my computer each day so I will be updating you with what I've been doing and providing everyone with pictures! I can't wait to tell ya'll about my trip and the amazing things God is doing in my life. I'm so excited to see what God has in store for me and the wonderful people I'm going to meet! I think this is going to be an incredible and extremely memorable 9 days in San Diego!

See you later Queen City!