2010 recap.

Well, tomorrow is the beginning of a brand new decade. 

This will be the 3rd decade of my life (isn't that weird??)

I'm really excited to see what 2011 has in store for me! I had a pretty uneventful 2010 so hopefully 2011 will be a little more exciting!

Here's a recap of 2010 for me

- started 2nd semester at APP

- got a snap bid by Chi Omega and then dropped out of Chi Omega before I was initiated

- learned how to Snowboard and LOVED IT.

- lived through a HORRIBLE blizzard

- finished the semester & figured out I was going to be an AUNT!

- went to San Diego and had two of the best weeks of my life

- went to Boston for the 4th of July and saw the coolest fireworks I've ever seen

- turned 19 and started my last year as a teenager

- got my first apartment 

- started my Sophomore  year at APP

- attempted to get involved in CRU, helped "lead" the fall retreat, quit CRU

- FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY decided on my major

Here are things that I'm hoping for in 2011

( I probably will only accomplish a few of these, and that's if I'm lucky haha)

- to be more positive in general (though I feel like I've improved A TON from last year)

- to exercise more

- to eat healthier

- to read my bible every day and do a devotion daily

- to stay on the Dean's list (woohoo!) and hopefully make it onto the Chancellor's List

- to become more involved in a campus ministry

- to devote time to my friendships and be a good friend

- to get a job or an internship that will help further my career

- to be more outgoing in my classes and actually talk to the people sitting near me

- to be smart about how I'm spending my money 

- to devote time to my friends and establish strong friendships

I probably have more hopes for 2011 that I can't think of right now, but I think that's a good start!

I'm really excited for 2011 and I can't wait to see what it brings! 

flower.

You may chisel a boy into shape, as you would a rock, or hammer him into it, if he be of a better kind, as you would a piece of bronze. But you cannot hammer a girl into anything. She grows as a flower does.

~ John Ruskin

my future.

" It's YOUR future"

These words send butterflies into my stomach

and get me mind reeling with the anticipation of

journeys and accomplishments that only exist in my wildest dreams.

A lot is left to experience

and there is a tide pulling me back and forth;

to leave home or to stay here

to bind myself to family or

to tie myself to travel.

I grab my suitcase and excitedly 

pack it full of aspirations and dreams

and glance down at the map in my hands that reads

"go wherever you want and be whoever you wanna be" 

in a shiny permanent ink.

This is my decision sitting right here in my hands. 

I'll hop on a plane and soar

over bright blue oceans, break through clouds

that loom over the London skyscrapers,

make a pit stop in the Big Apple

and glide over the Rocky Mountains.

I'll look back at the stress of college decisions

and laugh at the how the puzzle

fits together without a hitch.

On my own I will venture to places that

will continue to make up the building blocks

of who I am as a person. 

I'll meet friends that will make a lasting impact

on me and I'll have adventures that can never be replaced. 

I'll get my feet wet doing things I love to do

I'll excel in my own area of expertise

and look out the window of a place that

I picked out for a future all my own. 

I'll drink coffee from cafes around the globe

ride trains that stretch across Europe

watch the clouds' reflection in a sapphire sea

and be content with wherever I am.

"It's YOUR future,

go wherever you want and be whoever you want to be. "

welcome to my room

This post is random, but so am I.

First off, I got a new camera for Christmas! HALLELUJAH! Mine has been broken for a while and now I can finally document my college years! Hip hip hoorayyy! 

I honestly needed nothing this year but here is the way to big, undeserving stash Santa brought me! I think I have the best Santas in the world. I got lots of clothes, pajama pants, candy in my stocking that I don't need, some jewelry, socks, giftcards, the movie Inception and lots of other good stuff! I'm so thankful!

But anyways since I'm bored and I have an awesome new camera waiting to be used, I thought I'd do a little tour of my room at home so those of you who have never been here or don't know me that well can get to know me better! I love my room at home. It is so nice to come home from school and walk into my clean familiar room with carpeted floors (which I don't have at school)

Here is a picture of Rocky looking out my window at the snow. He is so cute I love him. 

  I've had a twin bed my entire life, I am a twin after all, and I love it. Just the right amount of space. 

This is a bulletin board that my friend Rebecca made me for my birthday one year. I think it's so cute and it matches my room perfectly! I've got some Harry Potter movie tickets and tickets to see Twilight up there. I bought the postcard in the left corner when I went to Paris with my family the summer after my sophomore year of high school. The tickets in the left corner are for an NC State game and then Kenny Chesney, Rascal Flatts and Keith Urban concert tickets. Guess I'm a true country fan!

 These are my pillows! I'm weird and I picked out my pillows first when I was trying to decide how to decorate my room and then my whole room followed from there! They were my muse I guess haha! My friend Alex sewed and painted the one in the bottom right, she's so creative!

 This is my poster section, it's not very expansive but it has Zac Efron and Robert Pattinson so it's not too shabby if you ask me.

 This is my (messy for my standards) room, it's just so cozy! I love it. 

This is my desk/bookshelf. When I come home I normally set my laptop up here and just relax and listen to music. There's a Harry Potter poster of course and lots and lots of books! I even have a mini shelf dedicated to just Harry Potter. To the right is a picture of me in first grade with my favorite teacher Mrs. Brown. She passed away from cancer when I was in eighth grade but I have so many special memories with her.

This is on my dresser. To the left is an award for Design of the Year which I got 2nd place for my senior year of high school. I'm pretty proud of it if I do say so myself. And the collage is a birthday present from beast Melissa Lockley. Love!

My dresser. Lots and lots of jewelry and smell good stuff. 

 And I can't leave out my trusty straightener.

Gotta include a picture of NYC, one my favorite places in the ENTIRE WORLD.

Here is where I keep my jewelry and purses when I'm home. The black hat is an old APP hat my grandaddy wore when my aunt went to college there. 

So anyway, that's my room!

Now you know where I spend most of my relaxation time here in the Queen City!

P.s. it snowed here yesterday! I'm a little jaded towards snow right from Boonetown but snow in Charlotte is pretty special. Here is the view from our front door 

THE END.

a parisian layout.

In an old house in Paris that was covered with vines lived twelve little girls in two straight lines. In two straight lines they broke their bread and brushed their teeth and went to bed. They smiled at the good and frowned at the bad and sometimes they were very sad. They left the house at half past nine in two straight lines in rain or shine — the smallest one was Madeline.

We are straight up holiday gangsta in this pitcha. 

Hab yosef a Merri lil' Chrimah'

peace, good will toward men

Charlie Brown: Isn't there anyone who knows

what Christmas is all about? 

Linus : Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about. 

Lights, please. 

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'" 

That's what Christmas

                         is all about, Charlie Brown. 

when you wish upon a star...

This may sound silly, but I've decided that one way to see if your priorities have changed is to see what you wish for has changed when the lucky moment comes around...

at 11:11

or wishing on an eyelash

blowing out the candles on a birthday cake

wishing on a star

tossing a penny into a fountain

puffing the petals off a dandelion

I know that right now what I've wished for has changed. I don't wish for a boyfriend anymore, I wish for other things that have started to mean more to me at the moment. 

I think that's a good sign. 

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree - the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.  ~Burton Hillis

" It's comin' on Christmas

They're cuttin down trees.

They're puttin' up reindeer 

and singing songs of joy and peace

Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on..."

imagination creation.

Last night I was laying in my bed trying to go to sleep (dreading the lonesome icy drive I had to face the next afternoon) and I started thinking about how much I let my imagination get away with me...

thought: It's supposed to sleet tonight.

It's supposed to sleet tonight.
That means that roads are gonna freeze over
and it's going to be really hard to drive in.
The snow is going to turn to thick sheets of ice and when I try to pull out of my parking spot I'm gonna fish tail into the creek behind where I park and I'm gonna be down there for hours flipped upside down before anyone sees me because I'm one of the last ones here for exams and all my roommates are gone and my phone won't work because it'll be all wet from the creek and the rain and then I'm gonna have an awful Christmas break because I'm gonna have frostbite all over my body and I'm never gonna want to go back to Boone ever again....

thought: Zac Efron broke up with Vanessa Hudgens

Zac Efron broke up with Vanessa Hudgens.
Gah, he's so hott.
I wish I could date a guy as hott as him.
I feel like he is my type too. Artsy and atheletic but hott. And I'm totally his type if he only knew me.
I'm just gonna transfer to UCLA and then one day I'm gonna meet him in a coffee shop and the barista will have gotten our drinks messed up and I'll accidentally grab his and then he'll ask me my name and then we'll chat for a while and exchange numbers.
And I'll have Zac Efron's number but I won't give it out cause I'm an awesome person.
And then he'll take me on a date and we'll fall in love
And a few tabloid covers, movie premieres and a celebrity wedding later I'll be
Laura Efron...
it has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?...

thought: I hope that Interview with Charlotte Style Magazine goes well

I hope that interview with Charlotte Style Magazine goes well.
That would look great on my resume. Maybe then I'll have a chance at moving to a big city. Charlotte Style will write me a really good recommendation and then I'll get hired by Glamour. And I'll by a Mini Cooper with my new income and rent a cute little flat in Brooklyn. And I'll decorate it with stuff from thrift shops that looks like its from Anthropologie and then I'll get to wear stuff out of a samples closet like in the Devil Wears Prada and visit out door markets and see broadway shows and send you a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address....

thought: I can't believe that teacher gave me that low of a grade.

I can't believe that teacher gave me that low of a grade. Who do they think they are? I mean c'mon, I totally deserve an A in this class. He's such a jerk. They have no right to teach me anyway. I'm gonna go up to them right now and complain. Actually, I not even gonna complain, I'm just gonna slap them. And then I'm gonna storm out of the room and drop out of school because this is crap! I hate school anyway and I never want to do this work ever again. WHO NEEDS A COLLEGE EDUCATION ANYWAY!?

thought: that guy who sits next to me in class is really cute

that guy who sits next to me in class is really cute. What's his name again? I don't even know. I wonder what he's like. He's seems like he'd be a good guy. He probably even goes to church. And plays an instrument. And reads for fun. I like the way he dresses too. Maybe we could hang out sometime. Would it be weird if we ended up talking? That would probably ruin math. What if we dated? We could walk around campus holding hands and get coffee together. Gah. I bet my parents would like him too...

Imagination -  it always gets me. 

I can't wait...

to pull into the driveway and get that feeling of relief - sigh- home sweet home

to give Mark a big hug, I've missed him SO much

to see rocky and pet his cute little head

to sleep in until my heart desires 

to hang out with my sisters who I love so much

to go christmas shopping and just enjoy the holiday spirit around Charlotte

to eat my mom's food

to go to starbucks again and again and again

to give my Dad a "dad hug"

to hang out at Barnes and Noble with the family for hours

to be able to drive without digging my car out of the snow or worrying about the ice

to play games, cards, and the kinect

to laugh laugh laugh

to go to a Church that I'm familiar with

to see my extended family

to appreciate the real meaning of Christmas

to go look at lights

to drive past the house in my neighborhood with 1010291929 Christmas blow ups

to have Chili and Cheer with the best neighbors in the entire world

to be home, where the heart is!

alright stop, collaborate and listen.

It is currently 11:10 am

on Tuesday, December 14th

and here in Boone 

it is 9 degrees

 with windchill of -11

Ice Ice baby. 

interview!

Tomorrow night I have a phone interview with Charlotte Style Magazine at 8:05 (random time, I know)

It would be for an editorial internship position!

I'm so nervous! Interviews freak me out but at least it's only over the phone!

I'm crossing my fingers that I get but I'm not getting my hopes up because I know that I'm only a sophomore and am lacking in the experience area.

It would be so awesome to get it though because it would bring me one step closer to fulfilling my dreams of living in Boston or NYC and working at a magazine.

Wish me luck!

I need your opinion...

So, I don't know what to do.


here's the situation:


I'm not completely happy with APP right now.

1. I'm not completely happy with my friends - 
They're dwindling. Partly because of my lack of effort, but partly because I realized that some of them weren't really what I needed. Some of them are wearing on my nerves because of the major differences in morals and attitudes. Some of them are just busy. Some of them are good.

But I really don't have that many friends and I don't feel like it should be that way, college is like your last opportunity to make that group of really close lets-go-do-something-crazy-and-fun friends.

2. I have a bizzzzzillioonnn hours left
Because I'm double majoring and minoring I'm really behind. I realize that won't change no matter where I am but it's definitely a daunting task in front of me.

3. The guys here aren't my type. Now I know that seems stereotypical because I haven't met every single guy here but APP breeds certain types of guys. There's the pot head guys, the frat guy/drink every night jock guys and then there's the "I'm gonna walk barefoot in the snow and repel down a cliff" outdoorsy guys.

None of those are really at the top of my list...
I know God will provide me with a guy wherever I am but maybe he's just waiting for me to realize that I need to go somewhere else.

4. I haven't found a christian ministry or a church that is a good fit for me. The entire churches here are like smaller then just the youth group at carmel. Church should be about God and praising him no matter the circumstances but I can't find the motivation to dig my car out from the snow when I know I won't get anything from the speaker.

Christian ministries are hard to find too. Cliques don't go away after high school. A lot of the ministries start really late and I want to go with at least one person I know so I don't walk in there by myself. I definitely know I need to keep looking


5. I'm not involved.
Sorority = fail
Christian sorority = fail
The Peel literary magazine= fail
CRU leadership position = fail

6. There's no starbucks or target...
haha just kidding...but really.

I mean, obviously there are positives. My apartment, the friends that I do have, the weather, the food here, the fun memories, it's really a great school, I love the school.

I just don't know about the experience as a whole.

What would you do in my situation?

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. 

exams.

Exams suck.

I'm just gonna throw that out there.

Tuesday was reading day and today I had two exams. My first exam went okay but my second exam was pretty hard. We had to respond to 2 "short answer" questions (one page each) and 2 essays and they required a lot of writing.

My hand was about to fall off.

But luckily that's 2 down, 3 more to go! 

(and two of them are projects...hooray!)

Anyway, last night I was laying in bed trying to stay extremely still to fight the dizziness that takes over me every time I flip over/try to get comfortable (which I do A LOT when I'm sleeping) and I was praying like I always try to do when I go to bed.

I really just want to do well on my exams. I want to boost my GPA and make good grades and be proud and happy with what I've accomplished and the effort I put into it

but yesterday it was REALLY hard to find motivation when I wasn't feeling very great.

I had tons to do and I was tired & dizzy with a cold. 

Not to mention the COLD COLD COLD ICEY SNOW that was outside my window preventing me from buying groceries or medicine

But as I was saying,

I was praying and asking God to give me motivation, knowledge and peace during my exams and this little phrase-prayer-chorus-stanza-whateveryouwannacallit popped into my head so I thought I would share it with you.

Give me calm, give me peace. 

I lay my time at your feet.

Give me rest from this stress

cause I know that you can do it best.

Just give me strength to make it through,

there's nothing in me left to give or left to prove.

Lord soothe me so you can use me for you.

I just think it would be a cool idea to take all the stress from exams and use it build ourselves up. God can be the very last thing on our minds when we have so many important things to worry about but he can give us the peace and rest we need so we can do our very best on our exams!

Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am - Phillippians 4:13 (the message)

merry-vertigo-round

Couldn't sleep last night because I felt like I was spinning round and round and round.

I also have a really bad cold and then I attempted to take a shower and had to lay down in it because I was so dizzy.

It was awful. 

Thank your lucky stars if you've never had vertigo.

the end.

Another Mountaineer Winter

The sunshine of Boone has turned to snow

funneling downward in white snowflake spirals.

It's time for another semesters ending

and the brisk winds of a new beginning.

Our winter coats have become habit

to brave the cold and sloshy

footprints of people who walk ahead

and those who walked in the past.

My eyes stream from the wind

and the snowflakes glitter in the light of warm windows.

Just another day to mark on the calendar

of class, coffee and college textbooks

covering the tables in crossroads and the library.

Another block of time's gone by 

spent making memories that will last until

the color of the snow has spread to our hair

and we'll laugh as we speak of how we

walked to class up hill both ways

in the frigid temperatures of early December.

As we approach the second decade of our life

we're older in our days yet still possess that

same reckless abandon and occasional stupid decision making that comes

with new friends and unfamiliar surroundings.

We play cards on the couch

drink hot chocolate 'til the sun sets and

watch football on metal rows

that hold the hundreds of people who have also braved

this terrain for just another education.

But another education isn't what it's about...

Less then half of our time has gone by but

I can't help but feel that it's going to fast.

So I stomp the snow off my boots

find a friend to talk to in library

post another picture on facebook

and cherish the memories to come

And as the snow spirals once again

and our time here gets shorter

I'll find the silver lining

in good friends and wool socks to warm

these frigid days of winter.

snowfall

Announced by all the trumpets of the sky,
arrives the snow.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

just swim, swim.

Tonight was a;alksjdalskeuaiohasdlkasjda;lj.

The majority of my free time on the weekend I spend with a big group of guys and 2 other girls. But both of the girls (Kelly & Laura) are dating someone. So even if I'm with everyone and the two other girls, it's easy to feel left out.

Like tonight at dinner I had to pay for my own dinner while the 2 other girls got paid for...I mean that's not fun, is it?

I just don't know if I can keep being a 3rd or 5th wheel as often as I am right now.

But I know I just have to be positive and happy with my current situation.

Sometimes though, I feel like Dori.

"just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. what do we do we swim, swim."

I just gotta keep going.

Everyday is different.

You never know what's around the corner, just keep going.

but for now, I'm gonna be angsty until I go to bed.

 so tonight was "a;alksjdalskeuaiohasdlkasjda;lj."

what do we do? we swim, swim.