Grandaddy

He liked his scrambled eggs a little runny

and could eyeball grits by the pot.

He taught us how to mix them

with our bacon and eggs

to form a perfect combination.

Grandaddy had the energy of an athlete

with a need for adventure and tons of excitement.

He had a love of all things simple

and a hunger to glorify God

by living the life he was given.

His hug was as soft as a teddy bear

but firm and full of love.

Though his laugh was silent

it sent his shoulders shaking and

could fill up an entire room.

If Grandaddy was a smell,

he’d smell like the dirt and soil that caked his gloves

and surrounded the flowers in his garden.

He’d smell like magnolias & honeysuckle

like the overflowing bushes in their old backyard.

Grandaddy wasn’t worn down like the

deck of cards he’d pull out to draw us

together around the kitchen table

and we’d laugh at his knack for winning

and the fact that he was always the champion.

He was a frugal man

who’d question my Starbucks obsession

when he knew you could get better for less at McDonalds.

And he was never one to pass up a good biscuit

or the fizzy deliciousness of a diet mountain dew.

He was a gardener

an after dinner dishwasher

a listener

a discount shopper

a father

a fly-fisher

a helping husband

a quiet listener

a newspaper reader

a loyal friend

and now he’s an angel.

RIP JERRY MADDOX

1938 - 2011

thinking about

dream boats.

cute babies

starbucks, as always.

Mmm, you look nice.

NYC AND BOSTON

summertime

swimming at night

hott fashionable future husband.

chocolate

dying my hair

nail polish colorz.

finding a good book

relaxation

love... & apples.

same bus, different stops!

The past few days a few different things have occurred to me...

(hahaha this picture is really random I just thought it was funny)

1. How weird it is that you can be the same age as someone else yet be at completely different life stages.

I think my whole life I've been pretty behind. Not in a bad way, I've just always been on the lower or later side of things - however you want to put it! (except "blooming" but we won't get into those disturbing details) I was always the smallest, youngest, shortest and I've been the latest of my friends to experience a lot of things.

A few days ago one of my friends, (Alexis who I posted about last time) got engaged! I was just struck by how different our lives are even though we're both (soon to be) 2o year old sophomores.

Here I am with never having had a boyfriend or been in a serious relationship and she has a ring on her finger that is going to be on their for the rest of her life and has found the guy she is meant to be with.

Ashley is only 23 and already has been married and has sweet little David. Lindy is 19 and her and Sean are in a serious relationship and Mark is now 21 and ready to travel the world. And I'm just living life trying to make my way to a big time magazine.

It has a lot to do with priorities and has everything to do with God's plan. It's just important to follow his will and seek out what you think you're meant for and what you think He has made you for. 

I'm still trying to figure it out and even though everyone my age may be on the same bus, we're pulling the rope at different stops.

2. God cut me break this year.

Not gonna lie, sophomore year has been a lot of pouring into people and a lot less of people pouring into me. 

I am so blessed to say that I think God has kind of given me somewhat of the "year off".

I've had a lot of friends who I feel have needed my support and positivity.

 I've had people that have confided in me about confidence issues.

People that have needed a place to live so I gave up my spot.

People that have been wanting a relationship and needed my perspective.

Patience with other people when they needed time to vent and sort out their problems.

People who need my encouragement about God's plan & finding friends.

People that needed me as a christian example.

I think God was like "ya know what Laura, I'm gonna put you around a lot people who could use your encouragement so maybe I'll give you a break from the negativity and loneliness. Sound good?"

I may seem negative to some people but honestly I feel like I've improved at least 75% from last year. My attitude has changed and my outlook on life has changed and my patience has improved. 

God has definitely cut me a break.

3. Overall I'm grateful for this year's unique learning experiences. 

I'm grateful for the hard classes that have made me work my butt off. I'm grateful for having to manage my money from living in an apartment. I'm grateful for awkward situations that have made me learn how to not be awkward. I'm grateful for stepping out of my comfort zone and learning who to value. I'm grateful for everything that didn't work out and everything that did.

Right now, I'm just grateful for it all and I'm going to continue riding "the bus" and praise God at every stop whether it's right down the road or a few hundred miles away.

Fun weekend, fun times, fun memories.

This weekend has been so fun already and it's only 6 on Saturday night!

I had a crazy week this week. I had a book report due, a poem due, a quiz and two tests! I think I probably spent more time in the library this week then I did in my apartment! But luckily my hard work paid off and I got a B+ on my Bio test! I was really proud of myself because I am NOT a science person so a B+ is really good in my book!

So last night I got to go out with my long lost friend Alexis Arkfeld and some CRU girls! Alexis was in my CRU bible study last year and she just got ENGAGED on tuesday!!! CRAZY! So I wanted to meet up and hang out and hear all about her story! We met at Los for some mexican food and it was delish. But since there were a bunch of people there we didn't talk too much one on one but hopefully we'll get together soon and I can hear more about it!

(she's next to me in the purple!)

After dinner I went over to Lori's with Megan and Caroline for some girl time! We talked forever, attempted to make nutella pastries, failed and then made peanut-butter-chocolate-nutella milkshakes instead. YUM! So rich and so delicious.

We did the cupid shuffle and took pictures and watched Burlesque! It was a lot of fun! That movie was really good, Christina Aguilera is such an amazing singer. I love hanging out with those girls, they're just my fav.

This past week my dad has been on a business trip to Las Vegas so my Mom has been home by herself! I was planning on going home this weekend to hang out with her but Lindy and Mark said they're going home next weekend so I ended up staying so we could all go home at the same time. Since I wasn't coming home my Mom and I decided that we wanted to meet up in Hickory for the day and have some fun!

I love hanging out with my Mom! She is so sweet and I just love her so much! I am so grateful that I can literally talk to my parents about anything and have so much fun just talking and hanging out with them. My Mom is so fun to be around and we have such a good time when we hang out together!

We got chinese for lunch and then headed to the mall right across the road! We shopped around and just browsed through all the stores!

My Mom got me a new yankee candle to hide the thai smell of my apartment and it smells sooo fresh and clean. It's called soft blanket and I'm burning it right now! We were cracking up at all the names of the candles and how strong they we're! There was one called Easter Eggs and my Mom was like "it really does smell like easter eggs"! Hahaha it was funny.

When we were walking around we saw this (not to judge but...) VERY redneck family walking into Spencers. It was a Mom, Dad and probably about a 7 year old girl and as they were walking into the store the Dad said to the daughter "well I guess I can spoil you today!" HAHA! I just thought that was so funny! Here ya go sweetie, go pick something out at Spencers!

I also got two shirts from wet seal! (middle school throw back store, holla!) The first one was on clearance and they had a deal where I could get a second clearance shirt for a penny! Shoot I don't even care if it fits just give me the shirt! Good deal!

After the mall we went to starbucks for a little bit and then headed home! I had the BEST DAY with my Mom! I just love her so much.

Then on the way home I heard Best Day by Taylor Swift and it made me get all teary-eyed haha It's just so important to me to be close with my parents and I love hanging out with my Mom!

I'm probably gonna watch The Fighter tonight and just hang out in my pajamas tonight!

 I LOVE FUN WEEKENDS! 

From the mind of a Surgeon

Well, last night might have been the worst night of sleep I've EVER had. My hair didn't dry because I was tossing and turning so much and I had so little sleep that I currently don't feel that great...but sleeps not gonna come. And to top it all off, my brain was on CREATIVE OVERLOAD. I think it's because I'm stuck studying biology all day and my creative ideas can't come out so when I go to bed they are just sitting there waiting for me. That is where this story comes in. I made this up at 2:45 and legit had to type it out on my phone to get it out of my head.

I like to call this little problem that I have CREATIVE INSOMNIA.

So here's my little mini story...

I think if God wore shoes, they'd be high top converses. Not the kind polka dotted with miniature skulls or neon laces or graffitied with sharpie...just classic red Chuck Taylors.

I remember in the 2nd grade when I cut the ribbons out of Jessica Tillman's french braids. I didn't know what I was doing. I just liked the tug and pull of drawing metal through something off limits. 


That was until I saw the yellow fabric falling to the ground along side brunette confetti that used to be attached to Jessica's head.

I guess I had expected something good to happen. I associated tiny, sharp, metal instruments with healing. Two weeks before the french braid incident I had gotten a shot for the chicken pox vaccine. And even though it hurt, I knew as the needle went into my arm that it was helping protect me. 


Not to mention the fact that the pain lessened when Mom pulled the green honda up to the Wendy's drive through and I was rewarded with a Jr. Frosty.

That day, the day with Jessica Tillman, that was the day I wanted to become a surgeon.

I want to pull white scrubs over my head that resemble the white of His heavenly robes and lace up my red chucks. And when I'm playing God, scapal in hand, I like to think that the "Big Guy" is kicked back in matching his kicks watching it unfold from the clouds.


Yeah, I'm pretty sure that if God wore shoes, they'd be red high tops.

everything will be alright!

a villanelle poem:

SUNLIGHT TANGERINE

Her favorite color is Starbucks green

The amber leaves fall from the tree outside her window

A fragile love at the age of seventeen

and yet as ripe as the orange sunlight of a tangerine.

Her plump lips danced around his “hello”

Her favorite color is Starbucks green

and a look in his direction was like a jolt from caffeine.

Her life was spent in an overflow

A fragile love at the age of eighteen

Turning a rich brown like coffee beans

She loved the French he spoke “je t’aime beau”

Her favorite color is Starbucks green

She holds his calloused fingers and twirls her Chow Mein

and she spends her days in his afterglow

a fragile love started at the age of seventeen

They’re now nineteen, in deep routine, a King and Queen

She is anything he’d ever want to know

Her favorite color is Starbucks green

A fragile love that started at the age seventeen

spring fever!

This spring I'm looking forward to...

sunshine filled afternoons

painted toes that aren't covered by socks

cold coffee drinks instead of hot (doesn't that look delicious!?)

trips to the parkway!

Summer classes with Lindy at ECU!

warmer nights, blending into your surroundings.

shorts and skirts...though my paleness may blind people.

fruit - it just tastes better and I enjoy eating it more when it's warmer outside

walking to class, it's a lot more enjoyable when it's not snowing, raining or freezing!

cookouts!

All the pretty flowers that are in bloom!

Eating icecream and not feeling kind of weird because it's below 40 outisde

and last but not least...

being one step closer to

SUMMER!

poem + song = pong (incomplete)

You wonder why I let love end

you've got no company but the moon

Ain't history a loyal friend

to repeat itself for you

To bad the past is all you have

my memories aren't too fun

It'll get boring all alone at night

with your number down to one

You must get tired of the same old blues

a record with a broken tune.

You treated me like a pawn to play-

your ego big enough for two

No use in feeling bad for me

it's a waste of time for you

So I'm putting on my armor now

and preparing for a fight

I'm knocking down your castle walls

no use in being polite...

What could I do, what could I do

but curtsey, grovel and bow down to you

A King at his throne a puppet to own

always waiting to cut these strings

Maybe one day your pity won't look as pretty

as the lies you spun to me.

praying for Japan

This morning I woke up and Lindy sent me a blog post to read about a Model who was in Tokyo while the Tsunami and Earthquake hit. I read about the way she ran out of her building and saw the light posts shaking in the middle of the street.

I then watched a video that capture the Tsunami as it came crashing down upon cars, rolling over buildings and flipping over boats.

Can you imagine sitting there watching the wave racing closer and closer? It scares me just to think about it. It sounds so much like something out of a movie but this is the reality of thousands of people.

It is disasters like this that make me wonder what God was thinking when he made it happen. I know he does everything for good but what good could possibly come of this?

Something he created that can appear so beautiful and peaceful can cause destruction with immense devastation.

Japan needs our help right now and one of the best things to do is pray.