Growing up in church and being raised by a Christian family, I was lucky enough to have a lot of friends with my same beliefs. All of my Christian friends have been so sweet, loving, kind, and I've had a lot of fun with them. But, we certainly had some drama.
It seems like a group of girls that were all striving to live a godly life would be in relationships that were at least 90% devoid of drama, but that has not been the case. I'm not calling anyone out, I've obviously been a part of it too, but what I've come to realize, especially in college, is that it seems as if Christian girls create the most drama. Does anyone else feel the same?
2 Things I've learned:
1. We're too godly to sleep around, get drunk, or do drugs...so why not gossip?
Wrong. Stop it. Don't do it! Gossip is not your anti-drug. And news flash, gossip does nothing but make you look bad! That also includes talking about someone without saying their name. We're all smart enough to figure it out. Stop trash talking the girl you're not a huge fan of because whoever is listening is only thinking about the fact that you're probably doing the same to them when they're not around.
I gossip too, obviously, it's so easy to find yourself doing it, but it really only starts more drama. When you start talking about someone, try to pause and think, "would I want them to be doing this to me?" The answer is probably not. All sins are equal, and that includes gossip.
Also, it is extremely immature and unnecessary to tweet and post to Facebook about one another in a passive aggressive way. WWJD? It's an insignificant phrase but it's extremely helpful in everyday decisions.
2. We think we're helping one another, that's what Jesus does, right?
Yeah, you're not doing that either.
"It's so annoying how (friends name) does ____. I really think she needs to deal with ____ in her life. I feel like all she does is ____, it's ridiculous. I mean how does she live with herself when all she does is ____ all the time."
That right there is called judgement. Whether it's drinking, sleeping around, being negative, lying, whatever, you're still talking about it with a giant plank in your own eye and it's totally blocking your vision.
Any sin that's taking over your friends life, that you've obviously noticed and feel the need to talk about, should be addressed in love and pursued in a Godly way because you want to help them. If you do feel like God is calling you to point it out, you're doing it to bring them closer to god, not judge them. Pray about how to approach it, pray about talking to others about it, God will show you how to approach it in a way that's pleasing to him.
"Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye" (Matthew 7.1-5)
These are just a few things I've noticed. I'm imperfect, I gossip, and I sin all the time, but I would love to pursue relationships with other Christian girls that aren't full of DRAMA.
Enough! Be nice to one another, stop expecting the worst from one another. If someone says something that you think is hurtful, take a second to think about how well you know that person and if they really meant it in a hurtful way. They probably didn't. Stop texting, start talking. But learn when to speak and when to be still.
Life's too short and too precious to spend it wrapped up in pointless drama. Accept when you're wrong, learn from your mistakes, forgive, and focus on what matters most - living a life to honor God.