Life's confusing. It's not about the number of friends you have. It's not about the plans you make over the weekend. It's not about how many nights you can get so trashed that you don't even remember them. It's not about how you feel when you look in the mirror, how loud you can yell or if you have fridays off from class.
It's about singing in the car with the windows down. It's about living for a purpose. It's about friendships based on respect, love and mutual values. It's about being an example for your beliefs. It's about mexican for dinner and Reese sundaes for desert. It's about going to the parkway and seeing God's creation. Waking up to rain but keeping a positive attitude. Jumping in the puddles that are left in your path. It's about wearing your coziest sweatshirt and hugging every time you get the chance. It's about standing your ground and staying classy. Drinking coffee that's mostly creamer. Traveling the world. Laughing until you cry and making it a habit. It's about having a list of standards for a future boyfriend and not giving up on them. It's about talking about every aspect of your day and not keeping secrets. It's about forgiving and choosing who to value and recognizing who values you.
served in a blue ceramic mug
perfectly cracked (like me)
but without a piece
to get caught in the bottom (sharp edges)
to cut me deep down
because that damage has already been done.
I know I can't.
But you've got me on a strand.
A puppeteer on my heart- with each little tug
I'm drawn towards you.
And I want it to stop.
I can't focus on the words in front of me.
They progress across the page
tiny letters marching in a line...back and forth (seesaw)
My eyes blur and tears splash to form
black puddles from mascara and printer ink.
I can't right now.
its a guarded thing (what I should be doing)
but magnets -
South, North...you & me.
I want me only...
with my coffee and pity parties
and my tiny fractures to remain empty.
But you filled them
and I want to resist you
but I can't (I can't, I can't )
So tonight I had nothing to do except eat a tuna sandwich and watch the movie Honey on E!
And after an afternoon with Lori and Caroline talking about how we should great a Girls Just Wanna Have Fun / craft club I decided to do a "craft" myself!
I don't know if any of ya'll ever look at the website PS I made this but it has so much cool stuff on it! She takes decorations, accessories or clothing items that she likes on celebrities or that she sees in stores and makes her own cheaper version of it!
Since I love scarves I decided to make a fringe scarf for myself!
All you need is an old shirt and scissors. It was so easy and it turned out really cute! Here is the finished product (I realize I look pretty lame in this picture but at least it shows off the scarf!)
So if you're bored, might as well go get your fringe on!
In poetry class today we had to read our poems (the one from my post yesterday) and it was so interesting to hear where each person in my class had "come from".
The most interesting (and shocking) thing to listen to was the part of the poem that was supposed to regard religion. I think maybe 2 or 3 other people in my class had lines that regarded religion in a positive light and everyone else in my class either left it out or had something negative to say about it.
Each poem was completely unique and surprisingly transparent. They were so open on the details of their lives and it was really cool to listen to them one after the other and hear the contrast of each person's life.
But it really just made me think about how each person God created has a story precisely picked out for them.
The steps you have to take to figure out what your destined to do
The path you take to find the person you'll someday spend your life with
The lack of religion that has made you wonder or the services that let you learn
The friends you struggle to find or can't live without
The trust that was broken by your parents divorce or the love you admire
The family your memories are shared with
Each and every one of these things is COMPLETELY different for every single person on the earth. God knew you from the beginning.
Your tiny little feet, your tendency to overeat when it comes to chocolate, your awkward shaped birthmarks and the rebellious phase you'll face as a teenager.
God knows 6,893,398,314 stories like this (and counting) from beginning to end, completely by heart.
You are uniquely you and your life is uniquely yours. Don't take for granted the life God gave you, because no other one is like it.
Well, lets just say that the people in my poetry class are prettttty eccentric.
There's some purple hair, interesting piercings and long hippie skirts but you know...to each his own!
I do kind of feel like I'm the only one who didn't smoke weed before class though haha but we got our first assignment today! We had to imitate "Where I'm from" by George Ella Lyons. It's funny cause I'm pretty sure I did this in 8th grade and now I'm doing it again for college.
But here are both of them so you can compare. We had to keep it pretty much the same format and we had to try and use the same parts of speech for each line.
This is the original
I am from clothespins,
from Clorox and carbon-tetrachloride.
I am from the dirt under the back porch.
it tasted like beets.)
I am from the forsythia bush
the Dutch elm
whose long-gone limbs I remember
as if they were my own.
I'm from fudge and eyeglasses,
from Imogene and Alafair.
I'm from the know-it-alls
and the pass-it-ons,
from Perk up and Pipe down
I'm from He restoreth my soul
with a cottonball lamb
and ten verses I can say myself.
I'm from Artemus and Billie's Branch,
fried corn and strong coffee.
From the finger my grandfather lost
to the auger,
the eye my father shut to keep his sight.
Under my bed was a dress box
spilling old pictures,
a sift of lost faces
to drift beneath my dreams.
I am from those moments--
snapped before I budded --
leaf-fall from the family tree.
This is my version...
I am from lily twinkle lights
from rod iron bed frames and cinnamon febreeze.
I am from a keyboard under my fingers
it sounds like the rain)
I am from the Dogwood tree,
the Bradford Pear
whose fragrance I remember
as if I’d passed one today.
I’m from Reeses and guitar strings,
from Maddox and Bouldin.
I’m from the one-in-a-millions
and the always-and-forevers,
from live it up and tone it down.
I’m from Prince of Peace
with church seats six in row
and valued morals I’ve instilled in myself.
I’m from time well spent and southern roots,
From home cooked meals and peppermint coffee.
From the pride my grandfather gained
in the Vietnam war
the hand my Dad held firm so we’d grow up right.
Behind our navy front door rests my childhood
brimming with old memories,
a snapshot of my family
the people that caught my fall and carried my dreams.
" It's very important to have the right clothing to exercise in. If you throw on an old t-shirt or sweats, it's not inspiring for your workout..." - Cheryl Tiegs
I have no idea who Cheryl Tiegs is but I think she is spot on! For 2011 I'm trying to exercise as much as I can to establish a healthy lifestyle and to make sure I have a healthy heart!
But there is no way I feel motivated to exercise if I'm in not so flattering clothes.
Un-cute clothes can make you feel frumpy, sloppy and they don't show off what you've already got working for you.
When I go to the gym I always try to wear something that I feel confident in because that's my goal when I leave! I want to be confident that I had a good work out and if I step on the treadmill looking unattractive in the first place it's not going to make me feel any better when I get off.
You may not feel the same way but if you do then drive yourself right on over to Target or Walmart and pick yourself up some cute workout clothes... there's nothing like a little fashion fitness motivation!
or the fact that spring break is in 2 months...
or remembering all that stuff you ate over christmas break...
or how envious I am of her stomach...
or maybe just staring at Zac Efron emerging from the ocean might get you motivated
whatever you do, you've only got one life to live so might as well be healthy while you're doing it!
Today I woke up at 11:49. Made some coffee, ate a banana, made up my bed and now I have nothing to do. (I'm not complaining.) I've been drinking Dunkin' Donuts cinnamon spice coffee and it's SO GOOD. But my loyalty still lies with Starbucks, don't worry!
On mondays I don't have class until 5 at night and I don't have classes on Fridays. It's pretty much like I have a 4 day weekend except for the 1 hour and 15 minutes I'll be spending in Mass Communication. I'm going to try and not be lazy this year but I have a feeling it's going to be pretty difficult with a schedule like that! My goal is to work out Monday Wednesday and Fridays since I'm going to have so much free time.
But other then that I want to play my guitar more
but my main goal is to get something of mine submitted. I really want to write more and hopefully branch out into non fiction. Non fiction is hard though because I have a pretty uneventful life but I'm gonna work on it!
If any of ya'll have any ideas then please let me know! I've been looking at skirt magazine and a few others. Poetry is my forte and I don't really know of very many poetry publications. I really want to be successful at what I do! Right now I don't really have anything going for me in the relationship area (or anywhere else for that matter) so I've decided to strive toward a successful career. I want to make it big in the journalism-advertising-creative writing field! The key to success is getting my name and writing out there early and making contacts with people!
here are some random thoughts of the day just for the heck of it...
- Jimmy Fallon is hilarious. I've been recording Late Night with Jimmy Fallon over break and every time I watch it I think there's at least one part in the show were I laugh so hard that I start crying. Plus I think he's pretty cute and the fact that he's hilarious makes him even cuter, I'd totally date someone like Jimmy Fallon. But anywho, every friday he writes thank you notes for the week and they are SO FUNNY. Friday's were hilarioussss. (Que music)
" thank you...chocolate chips... for not being called sugar turds."
- I wish my apartment at school had carpet
- Mayfield ice cream has a very specific taste. It's not bad its just like "oh, I can tell I'm eating Mayfield ice cream because of this taste."
- I went and saw Country Strong today with my Mom and it was SO GOOD!!!!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! It was really sad but it was awesome. I've already got some of the soundtrack added onto my iTunes. Gwenyth Paltrow did a great job and the music in it is great. I LOVE country music.
- I love target. I don't know how I survive without its clean organized isles and cute clothes section while I'm at school. (withdrawal)
- I really need to stop biting my nails for 2011. They look awful and break so easily. I guess I should just cut them really short because it's not like they ever get to the point of being long anyway. Pretty hands make a good impression!
- I'd like to do something new with my hair because it's pretty much been the exact same since sophomore year of high school. I know, don't fix something that ain't broke, but it's just getting monotonous.
But anyway, tomorrow (today I guess) I'm headed back up the mountain. I don't want to drive back to school with icy roads or leave my warm cozy comfortable house. AH! I'm nervous and I don't want to face the snow...but I'm gonna be as safe and positive as I can be!
I don't really know why because normally by Wednesday after I've gone to all of my classes a least once, I am completely over the excited part of it.
But I'm REALLY excited about my poetry class (nerd alert) and the fact that I have fridays off! You just can't beat a long weekend, people.
Anywho, one of my goals that I left off my list a few days ago is to spend more time on campus this semester. I feel like I missed out on a lot of friendship time being in my apartment constantly. And now, since I have 4 classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I will definitely be able to be on campus more and grab lunch & coffee with my friends during breaks.
I don't know what it is but I'm feeling really positive and excited for this semester which is rare for me haha! So I hope it can live up to this excited nerdy school girl feeling I have in my stomach when I think about it. I kind of feel like something new and exciting is going to happen or something...
But If not I'll just chalk it up to being that anxious first day feeling like I used to get before I put on a book-bag twice my size and headed for the halls of elementary school.
But here's to hoping this semester is all I dream it to be...