June 21, 2011


Tonight was one of those nights where I started thinking about the future and started getting all worked up about it for absolutely no reason.

It's officially the first night of summer! My mind should be blank or thinking about stupid TV shows or the fact that I'm craving a cookout milkshake or some garlic knots.

But instead I'm thinking about the future. Pshhhh, the future? Whatttt?

I'm going to be starting my internship when I get back to Charlotte and I guess thoughts about that kind of triggered it. I really want to do well during my internship and continue to do well once I get back to school. I want to make really good grades and try to keep up relationships and school work while also having a job.

In my family, I wouldn't be considered a worrier. I have my sisters and my Dad to do that for me. But for some reason tonight I just started thinking about friends and jobs and money and careers and love and everything that is to come!

The future is scary because it's so unknown - the only thing you know is what you want.

If you didn't know what you wanted the future wouldn't be a big deal because anything that happened would be fine. No expectations, just appreciation for the outcome you're given.

For me though I have lots of expectations about the future. I want to graduate with a solid GPA, live at home for a few months and build up some money at my first "real job". Then I'll find an apartment, move away from home and keep working until I have enough to move to a big city like New York or Boston. But what If I don't get a job when I graduate? What if I'm stuck working at Bath and Body Works until I'm 26?

And it's not even the big things like finding a husband or a job that make the future scary.

I've been thinking about living situations - making the most of my circumstances even if they're not what I would've chosen.

Trying to keep my friendships strong even if it takes a lot of random texts, phone calls and money spent on gas driving to see each other.

Mark my words - I WILL MAKE IT BIG. Seriously, it's going to happen.

Anyway, I don't really know where this post is going. I just thought I'd rant about the future. I wish I could just glimpse into it. Not to see what happens but just to see how happy I am on a scale of one to ten. But I guess if I was a 2 or something then that'd be really depressing.

Anyway that's it for now! Maybe I'll dream of the future.

goodnight world!

(if I have typing errors it's cause I wrote this really fast - my bad)

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