home again home again.

If there's one thing I've become an expert on this summer it's traveling.

I feel like I have been traveling nonstop...and I have! I have been on a lot of trips this summer and each trip was at least five days long. Total, I think I've traveled for at least a solid month. 

I came from Boone to Home to San Diego to Home (for one night) to Florida to Home  to New York to New Port to Hyannis Port to Provincetown to Hyannis Port to Boston to Home to Sunset Beach and back to Charlotte.

WHEW. I'm tired just reading that. 

And while all of those trips have been extremely fun, there is truly no place like home.

(I guess Ashley had the same idea on her blog.. WE JUST LOVE CHARLOTTE)

So here is a little insight into the way I feel when I'm almost there...

It's been a long car ride. The traffic was enough to almost put you over the edge and now you're finally in the last stretch of your trip. 

The first few hours you actually enjoyed the ride. The scenery had yet to become monotonous and singing along to your jams on the radio occupied your time. You danced around for a while, talked about anything you could think of, acting way younger than your age and had a good time.

Before you were cursed with car-ride boredom, it was time to stop for lunch and you were blessed with a carb filled burst of energy for the next 45 minutes. SING, LAUGH, DANCE, TALK. And then you hit a slump, but you soon recover by finding animal shapes in the clouds and playing games like contact and categories.

But now, the fun of it has sadly dwindled and you are downright done with the car ride. You just want to be home already.

Charlotte - 19 miles.

Your butt is beginning to go numb from sitting, no matter which way you shift your weight.  You've tried every position available in the front seat but none of them are comfortable enough. (maybe this way..nope. maybe this way..nope. maybe this way...nope. ughhh)

The sun inconsistently beats down on the windows sending your air vents in a seesaw motion; up then down then, up then down.  First you're sweating then you've got goosebumps; temperature schizophrenia.

Your ipod library of 1255 songs has suddenly become "old"  and your sunglasses are killing the sides of your ears.

This speed limit is starting to resemble more of a speed guideline, and it isn't nearly fast enough.

Almost there...

...

Shift weight. Redo Hair. Change the station. Take off your sunglasses. Change the station. Realize how much you have to go to the bathroom. Try not to think about how much you have to go to the bathroom. Prop up your feet. Shift weight. Sigh. Eat a mint. 

Then suddenly, you're at the exit you've been waiting for - YOUR EXIT.

And the relief washing over you like a refreshing dip in the pool.

 The tension you were feeling in your neck finally loosens. 

You could careless what's on the radio,

the sun shines a little brighter,

the grass grows a little greener,

the chair becomes a little comfier 

and the fact that you had to use the bathroom doesn't even cross your mind 

because you, my friend, are home. 

JM = love.

This past Friday = one of the best Fridays ever!
 I got to see JOHN MAYER in concert.

He is so hott. Seriously. Not to mention he is one of the best guitar players I've ever seen aaand he wore a sexy blue bandanna around his head. mmmm.

So in a tribute to JM and all his sexiness I thought I'd write a John Mayer poem similar to the one I did for Queen using his song titles. Just because he IS that AWESOME.
(the bold is the song titles)

charcoal

Fierce as fire I ride around
a race with gravity.
"Stop this train from churning"
my mind is mocking me.

If only I could grab the wheel
and steer it towards your stop.
But 83 in a 25
will only reel in a cop.

I'm at the edge of desire
that only you will know.
The urge to live as bold as love
yet swept by the undertow.

While half my heart
has settled in - the others back to you.
A quest to find our city love
and bask in it's neon hue.

My stupid mouth sits agape
unable to form a word.
The rays of clarity my headlights cast
my tears now have blurred.

Somethings missing in this life -
vultures pick at what remains.
And as my heart is running dry
my soul's covered in rain.

You've made me crazy once again
a plastered smile's all I can bare.
I drive alone on midnight roads;
destroy what's in repair.

Recklessly I close my eyes,
I am my own assassin.
Now all that burns is your 3 x 5
and the charcoal taste of passion.

bring it.

Sorry I haven't updated recently!

I've been busy trying to find a blog design that I liked. And since I have no life, I find myself on the computer for hours and hours and hours. I even tried switching to Tumblr but then I realized I wouldn't be able to follow anyone or make comments so I stuck to blogger.

I made my own header though! You like, you like?

Anyway,
I'm starting to get really excited about next year! I have been getting a bunch of cute stuff for my apartment next year and I can't wait to see everything come together! It's making a rather large dent in my parent's and my wallet which is a bummer but it's gonna be so much fun to live off campus and I'm close enough to walk which is AMAZING.

not to mention I'm next to two of my favorite coffee shops - Espresso News and Beanstalk

Every time I think about next year I get butterflies...
My future is so unknown, it's scary.

A lot can change in a year -
Friends, majors, appearance, relationships,

A LOT.

But I know it's in Gods hands.
I can't wait to see how it all turns out.

(I've got my fingers crossed for a boyfriend even though I know it won't help haha)

 I've heard people say that sophomore year is the most fun out of them all

 BRING IT, BABY.

Tied Heart

I'm at a loss

for words

upon a page

turning

round. 

Round the corner

of my mind.

Dont forget to mind

my manners 

man...

Oh man. 

Let it be
be
beat

goes my chest

thumping up and

up I spiral

into the abyss -

bliss

A  life of bliss.

What I

need to do

is let - 

let your mind

wander,

wonder.

How I wonder

what 

you are whatever

I want. 

I'm whatever you want. 

So tied up

is your tongue

and so is my head...

over heels.

Healed is my heart

it sits bright red 

perfect

upon the card

of 10.

Thats your

number 

in my book. 

dandelion in the wind.

I wish -

• money grew on trees
• pedicures didn't kind of hurt
• i was at least 4 inches taller
• i had a blanket within reach right now 
• my hair would get longer and wavier 
• i was better at guitar
• hamburgers were good for you
• i enjoyed running
• hogwarts was real
• i could pull off straight across bangs
• humidity didn't exist
• starbucks was free
• i could do a split and a cartwheel
• i could date a robert pattinson look alike
• cars didn't need gas
• i could go to college without choosing a major
• we could hug right now
• books never ended
• i had learned to play piano
• i had a better memory
• being fashionable wasn't expensive
• i didn't want a boyfriend so badly
• i was in boone
• i wish and wish and wish
• songs on itunes were unlimited
• i enjoyed riding bikes
• i could erase all my regrets
• my skin would clear up
• temptation wouldn't exist
• i could fly
• i read my bible more
• the oil spill would stop
• 10 am was considered waking up early
• all my friendships were still intact
• once you pop the fun don't stop
• dentist appointments were painless
• dogs were always puppies
• i was a better athlete
• my feet didn't fall asleep
• my future was all planned out
• i had more motivation
• every pair of jeans was already worn in for you
• high heels were comfortable
• jellyfish didn't exist
• you could sit on clouds
• michael buble would sing to me
• i could whistle
• michael jackson was still alive
• boy bands were still "in"
• lindsay lohan wasn't insane
• bagels weren't fattening
• life broke out in song like high school musical
• i could make it rain on demand
• j crew was affordable
• i was a basketball prodigy 
• trash took itself out
• laughs were contagious
• love was contagious
• colds weren't contagious
• life was simple

I wish

a
 wish
       for
          you.

pondering

Sometimes I like to just sit on my bed and let my mind wander.
It's the true introvert inside of me. I like my alone time. I like to be able to just think, daydream and ponder life.

And while I've been in my room thinking, I've began to realize the awkward stage my life is in right now. Maybe I'm just reading into it or trying to make my life seem more eventful than it really is, but I find myself being somewhat unsure of what I want. I'm at that point where I'm beginning to wonder if what I've planned for my life is corresponding with what I truly, deeply desire. Have I been consistently trying to convince myself of what I want for my future instead of digging deep to find out the truth?

I feel like my life is a lap ahead of me and I'm just trying to keep up the pace. I'm sprinting at a speed I can't handle - is it really worth the struggle to maintain the stride?

I think my problem is that I just don't know. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I don't know what I want to major in. I don't know what my political view is. I don't know what I want in a guy. I don't know who I want to hang out with. I feel like I don't know anything.

I JUST DON'T KNOW. 

You know, it's funny how life hands you a timeline from the day your born. With grandparents, parents and siblings following the "picture perfect life", I feel a small obligation to follow in their footsteps. But shouldn't I be creating footsteps on my own?

Life puts pressure on me sometimes. How do I know if THAT ^ is what I want?
I've always considered myself a moderately confident and certain person... not cocky or self righteous but not unsure  with low self esteem either. But recently, I've found myself uncertain of my future.

It scares me. I don't like the unknown. I don't like the possibility of a single life. I don't like not knowing what to major in - what direction my life is taking. I don't like not knowing the plan.

But somehow in the midst of all this uncertainty, there's a sliver of excitement; be that a tiny, tiny sliver. I like the possibility of adventure. I like the spontaneity of an uncharted life.
And though it may seem easy to just let the wind take my sails upon whichever route it chooses, I can't help myself from steering. It's my life, I feel the need to grab the wheel.

Yet, deep down, I know when I let it go it will all fall into place.
All I have to do is get rid of my doubt and apprehension and forge on into the unknown.

...Easier said than done.

milk.

Since I'm on vacation with my family I just wanted to share a quick something!

I once heard an analogy about living a spirit filled life and for some reason it really stuck with me so I felt like I should share it; so here you go!

Lets say that there are two glasses of milk sitting on a table and they each represent a life.

Then lets say that each glass of milk gets a big pump of rich, milk chocolatey syrup poured into the glass - The chocolate syrup represents the Holy Spirit.

Both of the glasses have the same amount of milk and the same amount of chocolate syrup.

The first glass of milk gets stired round and round until it is a complete tall refreshing glass of chocolate milk.

The second glass of milk isn't stirred; it lets the chocolate syrup sink to the bottom and soon it becomes inconspicuous.

Now think about this in terms of a life and the Holy Spirit instead of milk and chocolate syrup...

The person in the first life (or glass of milk) accepted the Holy Spirit into their heart (chocolate syrup) and incoporated him into everything they do - their thoughts, actions, decisions...everything. They not only go to church, do their quiet time and follow the commands God set out for them, but they mirror God's actions in all that they do. They are a complete life - a Spirit filled life!

The person in the second life (or glass of milk) accepted the Holy Spirit into their heart (chocolate syrup) but that is the extent of what they did. He resides in their heart but he doesn't affect their life. They might have a relationship with him every once in a while, but not all the time. They don't acknowledge their sin -they still cuss, drink, make stupid decisions with their boyfriend or whatever sin consumes their life the most. They don't care that what they're doing is wrong. They know he's there but they dont LIVE like it. They don't have the chocolate syrup mixed in. It's just milk and a brown blob at the bottom of their glass.

Now think about this...which life are you living?

... and go get yourself a nice tall glass of milk.